So we are finally back among our things. Even Monkey the cat is happier living in our new space. Right now the rain is pit-patting in the yard and the thunder is booming. We had a lovely night with guests even though we have barely unpacked. As one friend put it, we are hard core. Back in brooklyn with full body and spirit. We ran into even more great friends at ikea this afternoon. What a treat!

Of course now I feel like I have to step upy fashion game. We are living around the corner from Moshood and everyone around is beautiful. It feels great to be in the bosom of Brooklyn again. I hope she lets us stick around this time for a few years.

Tags: moving, via ljapp
Current Location: US, New York, New York

So I have made it to the third trimester.  And right on time, I am tired, crankier and wanting this to be done.  The little girl is not baked yet so I best hold on to her til she's cooked.

I'm very excited to move into our own place.  It will be nice to not impose on our parents anymore.  I would also like to have a small soirée.  One step at a time though right?  I'm just happy about being close to our community again.  It's hard to be so far away.

A recent conversation has literally kept me awake at night.  Well, really a recent series of conversations has kept me from actually sleeping at all. 

Motherhood has slowed the progress of my making money by limiting the hours to my day.  Nothing I am good at really pays in a way that makes it easy to have daycare or a nanny.  So I squeeze it in where I can.  I play the monthly gig, write the annnual (roughly) piece or two for MUV, I am certified as a yoga instructor, but the only way to build these kinds of things is from the ground up, so once again, not enough cash there to pay a babysitter.  As the brain cells pop, it's harder and harder to pull the ambitions together to form a remunerative model. 

So I was recently discussing the possibilities of my ife when I was told that I have a reason for being, but not a career, which has kind of shocked me.  I mean, does it have to be profitable to be a career?  I have work that is widely praised, even widely known.  Does this body of work constitute "not a career"?  

I went to Wikipedia.  A "career", it states, is "an individual's "course or progress through life (or a distinct portion of life)". It is usually considered to pertain to remunerative work (and sometimes also formal education)."  On Dictionary.com, it is "an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress."

Progress.  That's the key isn't it?  What defines progress? "[F]orward or onward movement toward a destination", says dictionary.com.  "To what end?" I say.

This has plagued me for a number of years, see, because I have done the artist thing of taking a lot of crappy jobs to support the larger picture and now that I don't have a crappy job, now that I'm mothering for more hours of the day than I'm doing anything else, now suddenly, does the "career" I've been building on, that I continue to build on, does that disappear?  Does it mean that I have less responsibility that I can't focus on profit first?  Does the fact that I make and sell music, albeit for less profit, in addition to parenting mean the career has stopped and the "reason for being" has begun?  Are they not the same thing?  And if the career has stopped, despite the face that it is obviously still happening, are we not buying into the dismissal of the importance of art in this country?  Is it not part of a larger problem?

I have been playing music for other people in hopes of profit for about 18 years, hopeful to progress toward a sound that moves people. This smacks of both online definitions of career to me.  How do I get other people to see it that way?  How do I get respect for it?  How do I respect myself for it?

Tags: career, money, music, parenting
Current Location: United States, New York, Port Jefferson Station
I feel: aggravated
I'm listening to: kitchen hum

In my latest bout of pregnancy insomnia, I trolled the message boards on UrbanBaby.com to see about people's experiences at the NYU hospital, where I am to give birth in November and with my OB/Gyn, Downtown Women's OB/Gyn. 

What I read was mostly positive.  The one thing I kept seeing was stay home until the surges (using the hypnobirthing term) are 3 minutes apart to avoid a lot of medical intervention.  This is the one thing I think I would have changed about Simon's birth, which became an emergency C-Section after his heart rate dropped dangerously low.  I'm still on the fence as to whether his heart rate dropped because I wasn't moving enough or if it would have happened no matter what I did.  I never dilated completely either.  There were other people there who will remember better than I will.  I suspended time and memory during the birth.

I went to the hospital when my contractions were 5 minutes apart.  What's funny is that I was able to bear the contractions for most of the time without pain killers.  They were very uncomfortable and I definitely could not sleep through them, though I tried.   They eventually slipped me some morphine after I continued to refuse an epidural even after pitocin.  They put me under for the c-section.  I think I could have moved around more, but I thought it would be better to completely relax.  This time I think I will use relaxing movements like cat-cows and child's pose and leg stretching type poses.  I've been having Braxton-Hicks "practice" contractions since the very beginning and am teaching my body to relax through those as they get a little longer and stronger. 

The important thing to remember for me is that hospitals are made for intervention.  So I have to be steadfast in my desires and extremely self-sufficient.  And keep moving and breathing slowly.  Tension-free, drug-free birth.

Tags: birth, c-section, hospital, ob/gyn
Current Location: United States, New York, Port Jefferson Station
I feel: good
I'm listening to: golf course fountains

Since I have to wait until September to start decorating, I am nesting in other ways. Today's topic: diapers.

With Simon, we went for the Costco disposables. Very easy for apartment living. Bad for landfills and disastrous on the manufacturing end.

This time we'll have a washer and dryer, so I'm considering the cloth. There are all kinds of diapers and services and ways to keep the whole world from smelling of poo and it's as hard to sort out as the strollers.

Anyone done any of the fancy cloth ones? Anyone done the old school style? Anyone start with cloth and change or vice versa? Wet storage of dirties, versus dry?

Tags: diapers, poop
I feel: drained
I'm listening to: dubyoga

So we're signing up for a birth at NYU's hospital. Many people I know are goingt the home birth route lately. I want to have the home birthy experience but not actually in my home and covered by insurance.

I'm having a little trepidation about the hospital, really. I don't want to be held still with a fetal monitor strapped to me, but if I don't dilate enough, I want the option to have the cesarean.

I'm doing more of the excercises this time for sure, especially now that I know which muscles do what. I would rather not be cut again. It is strange to not feel the lower part of your abdomen. One of my friends is super into hypno birthing. I like that idea too.

What I want to do really is do it all in a hospital without people checking on me until it's absolutely necessary.

Maybe I should prep for both and move from one to the other once the dilation is complete.

I really wasn't worried about this last week.

Tags: cesarean, home birth, hospital, hypno
I feel: drained
I'm listening to: echoes of a tantrum

In short, the principal at Children's Workshop School is a genius. She can work the shitstem like no other. She has made lemons from lemonade and been able to grant access to all of the pre-k students who want to continue (only 2 opted out). We are pleased and ready to be all over the PTA next year, organizing and all, at least until I am exhauseted with the new little one.

Aram has a crazy new job which will allow him to simultaneously be an academic guru and a business executive. He is going somewhere he is appreciated. I hope they don't make him work too many hours. I appreciate him too, after all.

The little girl is letting her presence be known. She seems to like Indian and Japanese food, at least when I eat it. We're working on our yoga. I have been fortunate enough so far to not need an amnio. I am told that my tests show that I carry like a 30-year old. Sweet.

Simon is finishing his last week of pre-k and is excited for day camp, where I hope he'll learn how to swim, among other things.

These last 6 months have been pretty wild. I look forward to an exciting (but not too exciting) sequel.

I'll keep you posted.

Tags: aram, baby, pregnancy, school, simon
I feel: sleepy
I'm listening to: children playing

Okay we've got some issues out of the way. Simon's school - solved. Aram's job - solved. Pregnancy - halfway done. Gender - girl. Apartment - on it's way. My thought turn to strollers.

While I have said that I would never pay $700 for a stroller, I have also paid money for 3 strollers, in addition to having been giving a stroller "travel system". And that was just for Simon. What, then do we do now? I would rather not buy a whole lot of strollers again.

So what do I need? I need something that works from birth to age 4, that can survive the city streets, that I can attach a standing ride-on thing to, and that I can carry onto and off of a bus, plane or train without killing anything.

The obvious contenders are the quinny, the bugaboo, the maclaren, phil and ted. These are brands I didn't know existed before 5 years ago. The big deal with these guys mostly is that they are fancy and tough and kind of bulky. The bugaboo bee is a lot more streamlined, actually, but it still seems wide.

I like the Valco latitude. It's a three wheeler, goes over bumps pretty well and has a car seat adapter for infants. Cute.

Valco also makes a stroller called the Buggster which is even lighter. Same accessories. All the Valco stuff is compatible with a riding board attachment which isn't too pricey. I do wish the wheels were bigger.

People seem to love the Baby Jogger strollers. I'm skeptical. They seem bulky.

The bottom line has become that I may have to get super fancy on the stroller front especially since I'll be spending way less time in the car than I did with my little dude. I don't want homegirl waking up because we hit a crack in the sidewalk. Oy.

Tags: accessories, baby, nesting., strollers
I feel: geeky
I'm listening to: barack obama press conference

I realize that I blogged even the tiniest moments of my first pregnancy and haven't done jack with the second one. I guess it is less eventful the second time around. So far, I've had more nausea and actual purgative results. I had 3 migraines in the first trimester, one during a class trip with Si's class to the Museum of Natural History. When I got home, I painted the rug a fabulous new color which my lovely A cleaned up with true love. True love.

I popped before 3 months this time and have been able to deal with low riding jeans. I've started to lose weight again. Pregnancy diet, y'all. My body seems to like the extra hormonal rush, which makes me think that birth control pills must have ruined my life.

We are now at about 13 weeks. Our nuchal tissue scan brought our risk of down syndrome to like super minimal. (nice!) I just have to remember to eat.

My cravings this time are latkes and pierogi, though at the beginning all I wanted was jamaican chicken and veggie patties with hot sauce. I haven't even been able to smell meat of any kind without feeling ill. Which also explains my craving for bulgar and lentil.

I believe we are going to find out the gender. So far the ultrasound looks just like Si. He's excited to be a big brother and I'm excited to watch him with his new sib.

I'll try to keep everyone updated with the gritty details. Talk soon.

Tags: 13 weeks, 1st trimester, cravings, migraines, pregnancy, second baby
I'm listening to: the FDR

The third place was less pretty, but very functional. It was in a large building on the corner of 5th ave and 10th street. Low ceilings big rooms. Very big.

After that was more park slope love...

Tags: via ljapp
Current Location: US, New York, New York