So we're signing up for a birth at NYU's hospital. Many people I know are goingt the home birth route lately. I want to have the home birthy experience but not actually in my home and covered by insurance.

I'm having a little trepidation about the hospital, really. I don't want to be held still with a fetal monitor strapped to me, but if I don't dilate enough, I want the option to have the cesarean.

I'm doing more of the excercises this time for sure, especially now that I know which muscles do what. I would rather not be cut again. It is strange to not feel the lower part of your abdomen. One of my friends is super into hypno birthing. I like that idea too.

What I want to do really is do it all in a hospital without people checking on me until it's absolutely necessary.

Maybe I should prep for both and move from one to the other once the dilation is complete.

I really wasn't worried about this last week.

Tags: cesarean, home birth, hospital, hypno
I feel: drained
I'm listening to: echoes of a tantrum